Monday, March 30, 2009

Wedding Bell Blues

Last Friday, March 27, I received a link in an email directing me to a wedding website of a couple I know. On the front page was an "About Us" section that made me laugh so hard I cried.

It's not often that one comes across something that's truly bad without a touch of irony that's actually very funny. However, what you're about to read is one of those rare times where the clueless and poor grammar collide in a train wreck of the English language.

I have copied and pasted the text exactly as it appeared on Friday, March 27, 2009. The only editing I've done is removing the names to protect the innocent and unironic:

****** ***** & *** **** APRIL 18, 2009 22 days to go!

ABOUT [THE BRIDE]

My name is ****** ***** I am a small town girl. My parents our ***** ***** and ***** and ***** *****. I am a manager/Hair stylist at smart style. I am a big in to friend and family time.

ABOUT [THE GROOM]
my fiance *** **** is also was born and raised in the same town. He is the parents of **** and **** ****. He works in a family owned bussiness **** Sign Art. He comes from a very artistic family. Hes an easy going sweet heart.

HOW WE MET
He meet in a very unique place. We meet in a Haunted house that we our involve in. We started dating in 2004 on Halloween.

WHEN WE GOT ENGAGED
October 17, 2008

HOW IT HAPPENED
It was the first opening night of the haunted house and we were getting ready for the night. *** was making his speech to everyone getting them pumped up. I was doing makeup, he said he had one more thing and came over and got on his knee and asked him to marry me and i feel over on his knee and started crying and of course said YES! (ed. That last "sentence" is deliciousness. Read it over again. You'll be glad you did.)

WHEN & WHERE
April 18, 2009 Pontaic, IL

ABOUT THE BIG DAY
we our haveing a big wedding but simple. IOur wedding is at the Methodist church in town and the Reception is at the Walton center in Fairbury.